My thoughts: repetitive and disorganized

This post might be a bit confusing because I need to write a few things on my mind and I don't feel like explaining anything in detail.

Stuff I have to do: negligible. Trivial.

I like thinking about the logistics of things. I love planning future events when the current status of things is less than wonderful. I just set up my interview with Wesleyan University- my top college. I'm in the process of setting up an interview with Connecticut College the day before this interview (August 5th and 6th). After these interviews and college visits, I'm wrocking out with some friends in Connecticut and NYC before taking the bus home by myself.
I am loving being independent. As a girl raised in the pure suburbs all my life, I've always had to have a parent drive me somewhere anytime I stepped outside. I've never had friends within walking distance, and any shopping center or anything other than my elementary school or other houses is inconveniently located with respect to my house. Driving has instilled a very pleasant sense of freedom, but my lack of a car makes this somewhat useless. However, now that I'm more comfortable with these bus trips to NYC, I feel like my entire world is opening up. As long as I have a ride to Bethesda, I can literally go whenever I want to shell out $25 (or plan ahead and buy a $1 ticket).
I'm just in a different mood lately. I know this sounds weird, but ever since being trapped inside for that week in February, I've had a different outlook on... things. I've been daydreaming of laying on the beach watching the sunset. Honestly, I don't even need a beach. I want to watch a sunrise or sunset (junior campout, anyone?). Just tonight as I was letting my dog out, I walked outside and began gazing at the stars. Immediately, all thoughts of APUSH essays and teacher recommendations and SAT's left my mind and all that was there was the vastness of the sky and the stars and I wanted to lie down on the warm ground of my driveway and melt into the black ceiling littered with sparkling specks of light. I want to lie on the beach, staring at the stars before I fall asleep. You have to understand how this is all so new for me. Normally, I hate summer. I go camping with my family a lot, but I've never really done your typical vacation/beach week summer thing, and the one time I did, I hated it. But now, things just feel different.
I've also been thinking about Deathly Hallows lately, ever since the trailer came out. I didn't want to watch it initially, but I eventually succumbed to my desire and viewed it through my fingers as I put my hands over my eyes. I am seeing part one at midnight with my friends. It is a school night, and I want to see it, go home, sleep for three hours, and go to school. Words can't describe what I am feeling when I think about this. It may seem like a really simple and fun event for some, but for me, I don't know. It's difficult to explain. I just often forget how much I love this series and what it means to me. I love words, but they don't equate to thoughts and emotions. Harry Potter is not just something I really like, it is a powerful light inside of me, and I can't sit here and put that warmth into words.
I'm scared of the end, but at the same time, I know it will be beyond incredible. Even though part one of the movie will be in November of senior year, it will still be like saying goodbye to my high school career as I watch it with my school friends. I love how I get to split this part of my life- finally closing the Harry Potter chapter of my childhood- so perfectly as part one is with my school friends and part two with my specifically Harry Potter friends. These two groups of people mean so much to me in completely different but equal ways, and I'm so glad I can share this with them. November is one of my favorite times of the year. I love the holiday season, the weather, the festivity, and I love Harry Potter movies coming out in this time of year. LeakyCon 2011 will be... incredible x 10^1000. I am watching the last Harry Potter movie ever made... at Hogwarts. I will be able to replace the lukewarm goodbye I gave to the books with the most powerful of explosive awesome amazing goodbyes to the movies and the series as a whole. Don't give me that "the books will never be over" crap. Well, yeah, duh. But something does leave the air when there is no more anticipation.
I feel full. Essays on DC memorials and American art cannot puncture the warm bubble that is filling me up like butterbeer. Hogwarts doesn't require letters of recommendation or SAT scores. Remember that.

I want to ride the Hogwarts Express to LeakyCon 2011. If I can't do that, then Amtrak will have to do. I want HP people to take up an entire car as we travel to our last goodbye. After a tearful and emotional viewing of the movie of the decade, I want to spend a week at the beach with my CoWs. I want to lay on the beach and watch the sun set or rise. I want to lay in the sand and stare at the stars.