When I think about it, I have no right to be jealous. I didn't do half those things. I struggled through these past four years, scraping C+s in math and science, wasting time worrying and feeling stupid instead of working harder to do better. And at the end of the day, it doesn't really feel like it was worth it. I like working hard, but I don't get the same satisfaction as my classmates do when they stay up all night cramming for a test and go in and ace it.
I don't think I deserved Vassar. I'm saying this in the most optimistic way possible. Vassar, Amherst, Wesleyan, and Bowdoin accept the TJ kids of liberal arts across the country. To put it simply, I'm not one of them. I'm done being around over-achievers and grade grubbers and know-it-alls. Vassar would have been the pretentious, hipster version of TJ where instead of bragging about creating computer programs that can recreate light beams traveling in a vacuum, it would be debating 15th century philosophers while drinking tea and listening to funky indie music.
The only think holding me back from Connecticut College is the fact that it isn't as well known and I'm worried TJ kids will judge me for going to a college that isn't Amherst, Williams, Middlebury, or any other Ivy-quality liberal arts school. I love Conn College. I've visited twice, and each time I've been greeted by the nicest people imaginable, from my interviewer, to the head of admissions, to the random student we passed on that cold Sunday evening who randomly asked us if we needed help with anything. The college has a fantastic international program, with a language house where international students and foreign language majors go to hang out and eat international food, a special degree program involving a research project and interning in a foreign country, and intensive language study. I've heard fantastic things about the Japanese professor, and the library even has an Asian art reading room.
Conn has lower test scores and a higher acceptance rate than any of my other colleges. They aren't TJ kids of the liberal arts. While I wouldn't trade my TJ friends for anything, I don't think I could stand another four years in an academic environment with those kinds of people. I want to take a half step back, maybe be the top of my class again for once. I want to go to a school that has the programs I want and not just a name that people recognize. And truthfully, College Prowler ranks Conn with William and Mary, Wesleyan, and Northwestern in academics. It's not a bad school. This is about me and my education, and if this is what I want, then nothing can get in the way of that.
I offer my greatest congratulations to all of my friends and classmates who are being accepted into these fantastic, top rate colleges. You all truly deserve it, and I am happy for all of you. One day in the future, I'll leave my tiny apartment in Tokyo and fly back to America to visit you all in your mansions after becoming successful business executives and artists and doctors, and we'll sit and drink tea and talk about our work and I'll talk about my freelance translating service and working in a Japanese bookstore while you tell me about the important research you are doing, and maybe your house will be a bit bigger and prettier than mine, but I won't care. As long as we are all happy, that's what matters. I know this is the route to my happiness, and I trust that it is the route to yours.
Conn has lower test scores and a higher acceptance rate than any of my other colleges. They aren't TJ kids of the liberal arts. While I wouldn't trade my TJ friends for anything, I don't think I could stand another four years in an academic environment with those kinds of people. I want to take a half step back, maybe be the top of my class again for once. I want to go to a school that has the programs I want and not just a name that people recognize. And truthfully, College Prowler ranks Conn with William and Mary, Wesleyan, and Northwestern in academics. It's not a bad school. This is about me and my education, and if this is what I want, then nothing can get in the way of that.
I offer my greatest congratulations to all of my friends and classmates who are being accepted into these fantastic, top rate colleges. You all truly deserve it, and I am happy for all of you. One day in the future, I'll leave my tiny apartment in Tokyo and fly back to America to visit you all in your mansions after becoming successful business executives and artists and doctors, and we'll sit and drink tea and talk about our work and I'll talk about my freelance translating service and working in a Japanese bookstore while you tell me about the important research you are doing, and maybe your house will be a bit bigger and prettier than mine, but I won't care. As long as we are all happy, that's what matters. I know this is the route to my happiness, and I trust that it is the route to yours.
2 comments:
I spend all (or all minus the one taking comp sci) in New London, and I love Conn College. I've never been on campus when there were a lot of students, but it's beautiful and it's a small school which is always nice. I only really know the pastor, but he's super welcoming. I know you're jewish, but I think you'd probably find a similar person as a Rabbi. Don't worry about who judges you. They are just less informed and it doesn't matter if you go to a top-notch school, as long as you like it wherever you are.
This is wonderful <3
I feel that there are definitely those people who would think "pshh connecticut not yale." But the rest of us would just acknowledge that you're going to your favorite school of the bunch. You even make me feel guilty for considering something like UVA full of pretentious people over VT which is a much better fit for me because the TJ kids who go there are the "UVA rejects" and the "slackers".
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