I am not an alcoholic

I CAN'T DO IT.

I am trying to write this speech. I really am. But it ISN'T WORKING. The words are not coming out like they normally do. I can write an essay in a few hours, a poem in thirty minutes. But this speech is taking me FIVE YEARS. I hate these assignments. Every year, I have an assignment or two that gives me the most terrible sense of dread. This one in particular is terrible because it involves standing up in front of a class of people I don't know well and giving a three minute speech on a relatively boring subject while my classmates get into the more complex topics of politics or sillier topics like, cough, Wall-e v. Up. Cough. I am doing urban living v. rural living. It is the most boring topic in the history of the world, but me and my partner basically agreed on everything else- politics, religion, entertainment, etc. I can't write it. I can't.

My mother and I made this random connection today. I mentioned how I was unhappy, and she mentioned something about eating food to feel better. We both understand this mindset, and we joke about it sometimes because she has raised us to avoid thinking like this. It's not a healthy way of life. I then mentioned how I drink when I need to calm down- mostly tea, but sometimes I'll drink cocoa in the winter, apple cider in the fall, or juice in the spring. I drink water during the day to keep myself awake. During the summer I will have glasses all over my room from a quick refresher after mixing seltzer with fruit juice. During the school year, there are mugs everywhere from my occasional after-school cup of herbal tea to clear my mind or my before-bed mug of chamomile to calm me down. My cup of caffeinated black tea is necessary to ensure me finding the bus stop in the dark every morning. Drinking just makes me feel better (don't take that the wrong way!).
After I mentioned this, my mother noted that when I was younger and I needed to calm down, like if I had an argument with a friend or I fell down and got hurt, she would have me drink juice to calm down. The slow action of drinking allowed me to catch my breath and it always made me feel better. We both just realized that this may be why I continue to consume liquids when I am not feeling 100%. While calming down now as a high school student is a bit different than calming down as a child (more a way to relieve stress rather than catch my breath after screaming at my brothers), the action is still the same.

I hate this assignment. I think I'll go try some of that new apple chamomile tea my mother just bought.

The speech is pretty much complete. Now on to writing my paragraph thing that goes with it.

I AM DONE.

I'm going to go make my lunch and go to bed.