SEVERE

I had this severe writing rampage for a few days and then I think I just ran out of things to talk about. I have been so bored these past few days that I haven't even felt up to describing the few exciting parts of my snowed-in school-free week. Quick recap: I picked up Gloria and went to the mall on Tuesday, and probably nearly died many many times. The roads were terrible. I did some homework on Wednesday. Wednesday evening I talked to Kara, her friend Blaire who I apparently already knew as she sat across from me in the Hallway of Awesome at LeakyCon, and some other guy I didn't know. It was lovely and I left feeling very happy and pro-human. I think we may have scared Kara with the tetris talk :) I tried to work today and it didn't work.
I think everyone else in this area hit by the snowstorm can say they are suffering severe cabin fever. It is beyond being bored and lazy, I need OUT. And out does not mean school, or a friend's house, or the mall, but OUT OUT. I'm not the only one either- yesterday, out of the blue my mother decided she wants to go to Europe. I have been thinking about New York City these past few days. I've been daydreaming to the point of looking up the cost of apartments and walking the streets through google map. I have my entire future planned out already: after I graduate college, I move to NYC and get an apartment with a few friends (I don't think I could ever live alone. I would probably drive myself insane). I get a job working at Barnes and Noble or something similar, and either go to graduate school at NYU or get an internship with a publishing company. I will also have a puppy, possibly a puggle but anything little and fuzzy.
I'm not even thinking about the touristy Times Square anymore. I don't live near New York but I feel like I know it enough that I've gone past being awed by that aspect of the city. The next time I visit (not this spring unfortunately because I will just be there for about an hour at most as I transfer buses), I want to really see the rest of the city. There is so much I've missed out by constantly visiting the same spots over and over again.
But even further, I can't fully explain my urge for the city, and I mean any city really, but NYC is the only one with which I have built such a strong connection. I've felt this pull to the tall skyscrapers ever since I was 12 and I saw New York City for the first time. It is little moments that define my desire:
- I remember when we were driving to Maine for vacation and we passed Boston; I only saw it from the outside, but I knew that I wanted THAT.
- One morning a month or so ago, I was on the bus early in the morning while it was still dark out. We passed an empty office building that for some reason looked like it were filled with Christmas lights, just before we were driving on an exit ramp that went over the highway. It looked a bit like this. I remember looking out my window at the lights from the cars streaming under me and out in the distance, and something from the odd magic of the light-filled building and the traffic in the dark mixed with some amazing music from my iPod (plus some severe lack of sleep at 6:45 in the morning) filled me with this emotion I truly can't describe. And all of that has SOMETHING to do with the city. I'm just not sure what.
- The music video of O.A.R.'s song "Shattered" takes place in New York City. I used to watch it sometimes when I was feeling trapped like I do now, and it gave me this emotion similar to the one described above.
- There have been times when I have been riding in the car (before I learned to drive, however. That changed things...) and I've seen those green signs with city names as something that represented the future, something exciting. If I was going to Buffalo to visit family and I passed one that read "New York City" I had this horrible feeling of sadness knowing that wasn't my destination.
- In October of 2007 when J. K. Rowling was doing her book tour, I went to NYC with my mother, even though I didn't win a ticket, to both visit the city for a weekend and try to see her. While I was not lucky enough to get an autograph, I remember the train ride up there specifically. I was in this indescribable mood in which I remember doing geometry proofs and listening to Ministry of Magic. The potential of the weekend, which, despite not meeting Jo, was still wonderful, was blooming inside of me to the point where I could barely hold it all in. I was smiling and probably dancing in my seat, content with every little thing in the world.
- NYC creates an image in my mind of Harry Potter + the holiday season + snow. They are all connected somehow.

When I sit down and think about it, here is my opinion: I think I have established how much I love the city. At the same time, I also love the mountains as a place for escape from the craziness of life. The country is great, too. I. Hate. Suburbia. To me, suburbia is everything that is wrong with this country. It is inefficient. All it is is houses that are too big with large, often unused lawns that require maintenance only for their aesthetic appeal, maintenance that pollutes the area. It requires cars for any form of transportation instead of the much more efficient public transportation. It has this mentality that I despise, this "my child is a GT student" attitude (or maybe that's just this area, who knows). It just gives me the sense of an elitist attitude from the working middle class that fuels this country. Cough.
Small towns are cute. Bustling cities are exciting. The countryside or the mountains are relaxing. Suburbia makes me want to puke.