BAR BAR BAR

HIIIII
I always feel like opening this up with "oy vey," but then I think it seems too weird and I don't. However, that is my general emotion every time in which I reflect on the past few days of this year. This week in particular has felt pretty brutal. The past three lunches I spent either getting extra help in math, or working on physics. My 8th periods have been precalc tutoring, JNHS (Japanese National Honor Society) meeting, and tomorrow I'm signed up for physics both blocks. This year, I feel as though every spare moment of the day is either spent cramming information into my brain, taking out the somewhat bent out of shape info and bending it correctly only to place it back in there, or extracting all of this information and putting it onto paper for a grade. I'm somewhat satisfied with my grades at the moment. I don't feel like going into detail, but I did pretty well on my APUSH test, and I'm pretty sure I'm in the A-B+ range for most of my classes except for physics (C+ and rapidly dropping) and precalc (C and slowly rising). Luckily, it's only a few weeks into the school year and I still have time to turn those around.

My brain hurts.

I DESPERATELY need it to be tomorrow afternoon. I am behind on Numb3rs. I am EXTREMELY behind on youtube. I have way too many podcasts I need to listen to. I have the PSAT for which to study. I have general homework to catch up on. I have CoWs to talk to. There is a certain Sam Harris who I SHOULD be seeing on Sunday :)

Last year I made excuses for myself- I can't do homework past 10, I don't want to give up my 8th periods, I hate going to tutoring. The year felt like one big excuse as to why my grades weren't what I wanted them to be. I was miserable and frustrated. I know this year will only get harder, but I feel like I've tested the waters and I'm ready to dive in. I've already received more extra help than all of last year, and I have better relationships with my teachers. Everything about these past few weeks feels like a blur of classes, studying, getting extra help at lunch and 8th period, doing homework on the bus, and oddly enough, more social life than I think ever before. I like it in a way, though. I want to get lost in the mix of crazy nonstop school, homework, tutoring, social life, and be able to take a breath at the end, see my decent GPA and AP test scores, and feel accomplished. They say to live for the moment and not to rush your life. In all honesty, though, I know that high school is not the place for me. College is this wonderful dream in a faraway land to me, in which I may actually spend time on my English and Japanese homework, and take the easiest math class available. It is this wonderful world where I can try out new humanities courses and hang out with people who, ah, like these classes. I just want it to get here as soon as possible.

Okay, enough talk. On to my physics problem sets (yay?).